Hijacked
by FutureTrunksFan94
Summary: What if the Core of the Abyss decided not to give up on Jack and put in someone else in his body to live his life and change his mistakes? The end result will be decided by fate and the Abyss itself. Hi, I'm Jack, and I'm not evil nor planning to destroy everything! Why do you ask? SI!Jack, OC reincarnation, AU from main story. This is just a quaint little fairytale.
1. Chapter 1 Jackanapes

**A/N: Sigh. I cannot believe that anyone did not try to use PH, with its wonderful source of characters, great writing and awesome characters, for OC SI shit. Allow me to be the first, presenting...a more human...** _ **Jack**_ **? The OC is shyer and more introverted than Jack, but snarky and sarcastic as hell and very, very rude. So what happens to PH plot if we have a not-so-crazy Jack?**

 **And yes, hijacked fits it because "hijacking" one's body is also a saying used for body swaps. And Jack does so love to hijack the plot in the story, doesn't he?**

 **So, we have Goodish!Jack (though maybe a little crazy). A bit AU from the series, but let me first say most of this is tongue in cheek. Most.**

 **Actually, everything is altered. Everything happened because of Jack's machinations-alternately, since he's going to have no soul, the Core reasons, why not try someone else and see if they can save someone like him from doing the Tragedy?**

 **This will be mostly satirical and crack, though it is Pandora flipping hearts, so yeah some drama will be involved, naturally. And maybe some death. Snickers.**

 **Jack's POV is first person, anything else is third person.**

* * *

Tale 1: Hijacked from one reality to the next

 **Present Day**

There were many kinds of people that Oswald Baskerville was not fond of. He was not fond of talking, not fond of people, and not fond of anything in general. However, there was one person who could always grind his gears, regardless of whether or not he meant to.

Which was why, as Alice came flouncing over to him today, when these words came flying out of her mouth, Oswald went into a fatherly rage and uttered some bad words himself before trying to find the evil-doer.

"Daddy, Jack said I have multiple personality disorder! He then said we should stand in a hallway and tell Gil to come play with us!" Alice chirped innocently.

Of course, Oswald would never get that pun, no matter how many times someone would try to explain it to him. But if there was one person here who just never ceased to piss him off, it was... _Jack._

There he was, the sneaky blond was attempting to climb down the tree while holding the plush rabbit doll Alice liked. There was a sudden crack and both man and doll flinched upon realizing that the branch was gone, having been smashed by an angry Oswald in his attempt to successfully find (and throttle) Jack.

Both of them hit the ground, the doll's eyes were now swirly like in an anime, and Jack was now unhappy. Most unhappy.

" **JACK!"**

 **Jack**

* * *

Looks like that plan failed. By plan, I mean getting _Oz_ to learn to fly. Alyss was fascinated by my description of airplanes and wanted to try making Oz fly out the window. Unfortunately, it seems stuffed animals cannot grow wings.

And it seems humans cannot, either. My arm is **definitely** twisted. Shit.

As I lay there, I heard my name being boomed out by low, menacing growls. Only one human on Earth can make that noise and that's Oswald. He's not a Rottweiler or a Doberman. He's Lacie's brother. And that's worse.

"Hi, Oswald! Did you come see me teach Oz to fly?" When I extended my hand forward, the rabbit let me pick him up again.

"What are you doing? That is Alice's doll." He stressed out the words.

"He doesn't mind. Your breath smells terrible, Ozzy? Ever think of trying some mouthwash? Or some Tic-Tacs?" I said cheerily. Unfortunately, I don't think Oswald has a good dentist-or a good temper for that matter.

"JACK! My breath is just fine and dandy, for your information! I was talking about the fact that Alice could have jumped out that window after Oz if she were here!" Oswald said sharply.

"But she's _not,_ though. Alyss is, though, want to say hi to her? She does only have the cosmos and other horrors for company, can't say they make good company, though they do make the best tea." I snarked.

Upon seeing him stare at me, I shook my head.

"Jack, you're aware that, while you have been here a long time on the Baskerville Estate-"

"Actually, only around twenty minutes, at this rate-"

"And that while Lacie _does_ allow you to do whatever you want-"

"You should see us in bed-"

"And that while you do a good job of babysitting these two, remember that you...are...their...role model! And you make a-"

"A fairly decent one, if I do say so myself!" I chirped, picking up some flowers. "You want to wear a flower crown, Ozzie?"

"Stop calling me that! I told you to stop calling me that! Call me Glen!" Oswald cries, trying to sound serious.

"Glen sounds so boring though, Nii-sama!"

At this, suddenly a large stone was hurled at Oswald and he fell flat onto the ground.

"That one was a bit too hard, Lacie. Maybe try a boulder next time." I observed, poking him with a stick.

"Nii-sama's not dead, he's only resting. Wake up, Nii-sama. And besides, Jack was _helping_ them have fun. They _never_ have fun when you're around." She kicked her heels.

Alyss stuck her thumb up at her mother from inside the window.

"Alice likes me..." Oswald muttered.

Alyss stuck her tongue out at Oswald and made a naughty gesture.

"You little...who taught her that gesture?" Oswald stared from me to Lacie, as though probing our minds.

"If _I_ taught her that, it's sticking. She has her mama's sass." She said, flipping her hair, "Come on, Jack, let's help Alyss fly that rabbit. And no buts, Oz. Listen to your elders."

The rabbit's ears drooped as Lacie carried him up the stairs. "Jack, stop stomping. I think it's hilarious that you always manage to piss Niisan off like this."

I flicked a flower in her direction, which she caught.

"How romantic. This is like the thirtieth time you two have tried to attempt this, correct?"

The number of scuff marks and dirt on Oz showed that the rabbit was indeed a survivor.

"Yup! Before this, we were busy playing piano and Cheshire wouldn't stop biting me because I was singing off-key-"

"You've always had a terrible voice, Jack. Your singing voice is so high it could be a girl's." She nudged me in the ribs.

I flinched. "I'm plenty manly!"

Lacie's raucous laughter was my answer.

"It really doesn't matter, you're just you. I wouldn't like you otherwise." She said, humming to herself as we opened the door-and Alyss came flying straight at her mother-and then straight at me, nearly knocking me down the stairs again.

"...Lacie? A little help, my shoe fell off."

"Did the missing shoe come back?" Alyss asked as her cat circled her, hissing at me.

"Yes, yes, it did." I assured her while reaching my arm out to the cat.

"Hi, Cheshire!"

He swatted at me, but then purred and nuzzled up against Lacie before ultimately jumping into Alyss's arms.

"That cat is _so_ prejudiced." I huffed.

"It only likes Baskervilles." Lacie declared.

"Remember how much he scratched Levi?" I said, remembering how the old dude had called the thing a filthy beast and to have it neutered before Oswald had put duct tape on over his mouth to provide a family-friendly environment.

Oz blinked as he left my arms and came back to Alyss, who happily played with him before setting him aside in favor of Cheshire and her other dolls.

"It seems like he's the foundling." I said, chuckling to myself.

"You were the ugly duck yourself so long ago, Jack." Lacie said, her lips on mine.

"Not in front of-"

But Alyss wasn't paying attention, so we did kiss.

"Mommy and Daddy are going to play upstairs." Lacie said to Alyss, who drooped.

"Will you come back when she's here?"

"You have Oz and Cheshire with you!" Lacie called back.

"She's lonely, isn't she?" I said, "You really should get her a Skype account to the Abyss."

"What's a Skype?" Lacie asked. "One of those thingamajiggys from your world?"

"Yeah, one of _those_ things. I was once one of those things."

"Don't call yourself a thing, Jack, that would be demeaning to Oz."

I wilted, "Oh, so you're saying _I'm_ a thing."

"You're a strange, strange human being, but I don't mind, Jack. You've managed to make Niisan more upset and tense ever since the day you joined! The Core's not lonely now, but sometimes, I have nightmares..." She muttered, rolling over.

"Nightmares? Like if Oswald were to smile?"

She laughed. "Nii-san smiles. He's just _happily challenged._ By that, I mean, he can't smile. But these nightmares were different...in them, everything was wrong. There was a fire, so much blood and destruction...a calamity...little Gilbert and Vincent were hurt, the Abyss was hurting...and my _daughters..."_

The smile fell off my face and my eyes narrowed.

"Alice was dead, Oz was screaming; he was a chain and Alyss was...so heartbroken. But the worst part of the dream was...that you were in it."

"I was..?" I mumbled. "What did I do in it?"

"You were..." Her crimson irises showed a faint emotion I couldn't place, was it...sadness? Anger? No, it was more like thoughtfulness. "...You were _insane_. A madman. Nii-sama sent me down to the Abyss, but while I was trapped in that dark space, I saw...all of this happening...and it was done by you. _You_ led Oz to destroy the world, _you_ were laughing while you cut my brother into pieces, you were responsible for Alice dying and..."

My arms were around her. "It was just a dream, nothing more." 'It is now.'

"No, the Core of the Abyss was showing me another dimension, the same as this one. Different events played out. In the end, that world moved towards a bittersweet ending. This one is much brighter, she said, thanks to his sacrifice. Whoever he is."

My eyes widened. "Oz..."

"What does Oz have to do with anything?" Lacie teased, kissing my neck.

"It's nothing. I guess you'd believe anything I told you?"

"Jack's not a liar. Your eyes are too honest. If you lied, you'd be a _jack_ ass."

"You're giving me too much credit now, Lacie. And...that's a terrible pun."

Just for that, though, she playfully rapped me on the head.

As I lay near her, watching her form rise and fall, I looked out the window at the sun, which was slowly starting to set, indicating that evening had now come. In a way, this world felt like a long, peaceful dream. Which felt oh so real, but oh so right, for the world this is.

I am Jack, but at the same time I am not. I tucked my blond bangs back with my fingers before smiling absently. The memories from my previous life are slowly fading, but I remember some of them. I have long since forgotten my real name, but I remember everything else well.

In my past life, I had been a female. Ironic, isn't it?

No one but Lacie knows that much.

Everyone just assumes Jack is a weird person and that's that.

Well, I am weird. But at least I'm not insane and weird.

And the series, Pandora Hearts, is well known for the villain, Jack, whom everyone hates. But what if the Core has a change of heart and places _someone else_ in that position? How would that change life for all the characters-and-for me?

This is, after all, just a quaint little fairytale, or a hilariously sad dream. However you want to look at it. All work and no Lacie makes Jack a bored boy. Not insane.

My eyes narrowed. I had promised myself that long ago, when I'd become Jack, that I would never do those things. Never hurt them. But it's impossible to quell that feeling of terror that this could all change and I'd be left all alone.

And we all know Jack Vessalius is no one when he's alone.

 _After all, who will make sure he flosses, brushes his teeth and runs his errands?_

And his dirty socks will stink up the house.

Overall, I had to admit, as I rolled back over and fell asleep, my hand wrapped around hers, this was not a bad life. I did miss cell phones, though. Though I'm sure if I had a cell phone, Lacie would probably smack me and tell me to not text in bed.

How did this tale of Wonderland begin, you may ask? Well, written below in Jack's Super Secret Diary that No One Should Ever Know the Location of...which Lacie has found multiple times. She found it in the crack in the wall, she found it in the nook under the stairs, she found it in her closet, she found it under the sink and she found it under the toilet.

But she won't find it this time. I managed to hide it in a spot she'll never look in. I managed to hide it in my ponytail! Smooth.

It's covered with hair, though. That's to be expected.

As I took the note out and continued writing, I saw one red eye crack open. Lacie was peeking. I bet she knew most (if not) all my hiding places these days.

I sighed and continued writing with a smile on my face, content. I could almost forget about the realization that, behind these closed doors, abyssal creatures lurked, that could destroy this entire world. That if things had gone differently, I would have let the canon plot go to hell. Literally.

It's kinda scary...those dreams...to think if I had made one tiny little error, everything...the woman sleeping beside me, the little girls, one in the Abyss and the other down below, nestled by a warm and comfortable core-two little children playing, a watchful rabbit doll, and the stern gaze of Oswald-to think that this might be a demented fairy tale thought up by an insane man.

But I'm fairly sure this is real, this world is real. I am sure that Lacie is real.

My hand nestles against hers and in it I feel much happiness...but a bit of anguish that lessens.

* * *

'As long as you are with her, you are safe...' A shadow whispered in my ear, 'But otherwise, you are still bound by the sins your counterpart committed. Differing soul or not, you are still him. Your fate has still been set...'

The voice sounded a lot like the Core's voice.

'It's not like this world hasn't been difficult...'

'Yes, yes, you see reason!' The demon hisses.

'For example, when Lacie runs out of menstrual supplies and she makes me go buy them, it's slightly awkward considering what sex my soul used to be, so it's slightly uncool for a guy to be seen buying them, you know what I mean. Oh and yeah, there was the time when she fell asleep on top of me and her br-'

'Not those difficulties! Be more serious now.' The phantom hisses. 'Tell me, don't you hate her for chaining you to this world when your old soul could have just moved on?'

I sigh. 'You're boring me. No wonder I don't listen to my subconscious, it's full of some whiny asshole who yells at kids that come in their garden to get a ball. Regardless of who I used to be, I'm here now and here to stay. I'm not taking off, or should I say...Jac-"

'You wouldn't dare say that-'

 _'Jacking off,_ right?' I winked at the phantom, who shakes its head.

'Tch, you suck. I was gonna nab you, but you're far too cheery for me.'

Who was that? Oh, no one, probably Bill Cipher, the Dream Demon, coming to collect my soul...see, the cool thing is, kids, when you're from a world where none of that stuff exists yet, in a way it's like you've invented it yourself! So much copyright infringement at hand here.

In my dreams, I revisit my old life-though I used to dream much more of it when I was younger. As I've gotten older, the dreams have progressed more into those visions of the one in the canon series. You know, Alice confronting Jack, a fight, and then her glaring at me with hatred in her eyes as she stabs herself with scissors.

Alice does dislike me. But I'm confident that I'm not the same as that Jack. This Jack is just Jack. No one else. He could give you a heart attack from the sexy! I remember saying those same words to Lottie and she'd promptly thrown me out the door.

Slowly, as the night comes closer, I know that Alice is probably awake down there now, playing with Oz. She is more nocturnal. Then Alyss will be back again. Right now, she is sleeping in a world of her own creation.

They are not my daughters by blood, but I still consider them my family. I would never hurt them.

'Never?'

'Never.'

Just like I consider Gilbert and Vincent and Oswald my family.

Slowly, reassuringly, I allow myself to fall asleep, my arms cuddled around the pillows-Lacie will probably steal them back from me in the middle of the night-and plunge down into a world of dreams and memories.

The memory that plays most in my mind is one of the last memories I have of when I was a girl.

* * *

I had been waiting for something to take me somewhere, holding onto my sister's hand tightly. I was only eighteen years of age or so, but still I preferred to hang back. I was an introvert who preferred quiet places and taking rides on public transportation was very difficult for me to do.

Still, it was a mere train. No harm to be had. I recall my feet going on the train and then...a strange smell of smoke filling my nose as I heard the sound of something going off...I lose the arm of my sister, we are separated from each other.

I scream her name, even as I fall on the ground, covered from head to toe in debris; there was an explosion. I have to move, I have to get help. I heard a small cry. I looked down in time to see a small child near me, a little girl lying, pinned beneath rubble.

Slowly, even though I am weak, I do my best to free her and manage to scoop her out.

"Thank you, miss..." She mutters, before her eyes shine gold and she passes out in my arms.

Blinking in confusion, I held her close to me and tried to stand up, trying to move further on-I needed to find my parents and my sister-but a piece of shrapnel came flying at us from the ruins of the train-all I remember is seeing it coming straight at my face and-blackness.

Death is instantaneous, I would imagine. To think I died on a terrorist attack on the day I would be going to college for the first time. Pathetic.

'You did something admirable, young one.' A voice said, 'You have much courage and spirit. You still have a reason to exist. A will.'

I couldn't see anything, I only saw something bright gold hanging in front of me.

"Abyss?" I muttered, it looked like the Core of the Abyss, but that was fiction.

"I shall assist you. In turn, you shall go into a world that needs you and make it better. Only..." It looked like it smiled for a second, "There is a person who needs a second chance. Make his life better."

"I have to fall in love with a guy?" I said before shaking my head. "I understand...what I need to do."

In all essence, I had no idea. I had no idea what the Core actually meant, being the sadistic mofo that it is.

But if I wanted to live again, I would.

And when I woke, of course I would have zero memory of what had happened except for the accident. You know, PTSD, convenient plot devices, yada yada yada. No angst is necessary for this time. I tend to keep it on the inside.

 _"Mother, father, please, no! I don't want to die...save me!"_

 _I shot up in bed, covered in sweat. I tossed the blankets back and sat up, examining my hands. I was not dead, I was alive. And yet...something felt off._

 _I placed my hand over my chest. It was at that time that I realized that I could not feel my breasts. How odd. My chest was flat._

 _Before I could comprehend that further, the door burst open a woman appeared._

 _"Get off my bed, you stupid boy! You're not my child! You're not mine!"_

 _I fought with the crazy lady but before I knew it, I was kicked off the bed and onto the ground._

 _"Piss off." I growled as a response, shaking myself off._

 _When was my voice this deep?_

 _Frowning in confusion, I ran a hand through my blond bangs and sighed-wait, blond. My hair had always been brown. Now, it was blond._

 _When I looked at myself in the window, my eyes widened-as the face of a teenage boy with blond hair and green eyes stared back. That was...Jack...Jack Vessalius._

 _I was Jack?_

 _How?_

 _Memories drifted through my head of this crazy woman beating me up, hurting me...these weren't my memories._

 _I sighed, swallowed, and then muttered, "Fuck."_

 _So I'd been put in Pandora Hearts, then? As the guy that kills everyone? Lovely._

 _Exquisitely lovely._

 _Bullshit._

 _A few hours later, the woman started acting like I was her lovely son and tried to hug me and I gave in for a few moments, that is until the beatings started._

 _Thank goodness boys have more muscle. I was able to fight her off._

 _I was not going to stick around here._

 _So I ran._

 _And then...I crashed into someone, it was...someone with long, black hair._

 _Holy shit...it was Lacie. The woman who drives Jack to ruin. Lacie Baskerville was standing before me._

 _"Hello there, boy," She said, eying me hungrily, up and down. Her red eyes were inhuman, but fascinating._

 _I shook slightly, but smiled shyly._

 _"Are you running away from home? I can help you, you know."_

 _I shook my head no._

 _"You're a bad liar, boy. Hey, why don't I take you with me? You can live with me."_

 _Before I knew it, Lacie was tugging on my arm and pulling me with her._

 _"H-Hey, no, stop!" I cried._

 _"My name is Lacie Baskerville. And you are...?"_

 _"I'm...Jack." I muttered, deciding to go with that name._

 _"Not much of a talker, are you?" She whispered._

 _Suddenly, hooded figures surrounded us._

 _"It's not Halloween yet..." I muttered._

 _Lacie just paused. "You're not very subtle, Nii-sama. I know you're there."_

 _Holy shit, Oswald Baskerville was before me, looking at me with wary eyes. "This is a Vessalius child, isn't it? Those eyes are unmistakable."_

 _"Jack...you never told me you were a Vessalius..." Lacie muttered, "Though I already knew."_

 _'Wow, that's real nice.' I thought, cringing mentally._

 _"I'm Jack! Please don't kill me, Miss Lacie is nice and I'd like to come with her and-"_

 _"Why not? He can come, Lacie needs a boyfriend or two." There he was, Levi Baskerville._

 _"Levi, knock it off." Lacie snapped._

 _"Lacie, are you...on your period?" Oswald muttered._

 _"And what would give you that impression?" She snapped._

 _"Yep, definitely on her period. Look, Jack...I...I..."_

 _"Basically what he's trying to say is don't hurt his sister or else he'll whine endlessly. Oswald is really a big softie inside." Lacie teased._

 _"You ran away only because I deliberately lost a chess game!"_

 _"Oh, so that's how it is, huh?" She yelled._

 _"Um, excuse me...but I..."_

 _"You can stay if you like, but you are a mere street urchin, Jack. I like that name. Jack-kun...don't you go seducing Lacie..."_

 _'I don't want to hear that from you, Mr. Rapist.' I thought darkly, shooting him a death glare as Lacie led me up her tower. All I had to do was be as calm as possible. And logical, logical never hurt anybody._

 _"There sure are a lot of stairs!" I said happily._

 _"Why would you be happy about that, Jack?" She asked as she led me into a room full of stuffed animals. "Well, this is it, Jack, what do you think?"_

 _"It's...nice." I said, but then I paused as I took in the black rabbit doll sitting next to Lacie's bed. "A rabbit doll? That's nice."_

 _"He's special."_

 _As if on cue, the rabbit's eyes flickered before it stared straight at me._

 _Holy crap, it was alive. Who am I kidding, this is Oz after all._

 _I stared at Oz. He stared back._

 _I blinked before staring him down._

 _At this, he paled slightly and turned his gaze away from me, still shaking._

 _"Rabbit, quit stalking. He is a new person, but the one down there senses no hate from him, so I deemed him safe to be here."_

 _"Does he have a name?" I trailed off...flushing slightly. Being a guy was hard to get used to. Especially when your freaking hormones were all over the place._

 _"Maybe I can name him Jackrabbit!"_

 _"N-No, definitely not!" I cried, before I suddenly fell backwards onto the bed. Apparently, I was tired from before._

 _"The rabbit doesn't have a name, but he's a friend of mine and of the Core of the Abyss. You can see it, too, can't you? That's why you saw him moving. He doesn't have a voice...thoughts, yes, but no voice." Lacie stated. "Jack, you're such an unusual boy. You're not afraid of a child of misfortune."_

 _She came near me before she suddenly smacked me on the cheek. "You don't really act much like other boys your age. I like that."_

 _I flushed and I...oh shit. I had a nosebleed._

 _"Jack, you don't talk much, hm? You must be shy."_

 _"Thank you...Lacie-san..." I mumbled._

 _"Lacie will be fine." She said, tugging at my hair._

 _"Ow, please stop!" I cried. "I'm a natural blond, I swear!"_

 _"Of course you're natural. It's not like you can change your hair color with anything." She chirped._

 _Before I knew it, I was getting tired, so I leaned against her as I fell asleep, confused and worn out from my first day of being a boy, thrown into a manga. Can I leave already?_

 _No?_

 _Sweet. Though, the Core and I were going to have a talk about what it means to trick someone. I was hoping to at least get a cookie or something._


	2. Chapter 2 Jack of All Trades

A/n:Whoa, people like this idea, I am surprised! Today I am going hunting for legendary legends, myths and folk tales! I am part of a storytelling league and we are doing legends and stuff so we're looking around my home state! In the meantime, I will throw this chapter at you all, seeing as at night I am too afraid of ants in my house.

And yes, Jack dreams of his alternate's actions, the Core has a record of all those things as stated in canon.

Some of this is told in flashbacks (like in PH, lolz) and the modern time is Jack as an adult, we're looking into Jack's memories through his diary, which Lacie has read multiple times, ha ha.

This is a happy universe, but there will be some sadness, too.

Chapter 2 You came into my life like a Jackhammer

* * *

That night, I dreamed that I saw my parents and my sister again. I extended my hand out to them, but I didn't even see-or notice-that I was fading away. I saw myself, sitting at a table, eating dinner with Mother, then how she slapped my food away from me and dragged me to the ground, beating me up.

'This isn't my life, this isn't my life!' I cried to myself.

Flames were rising, I was holding a sword in my hands, dripping with blood.

"Glen, did you really do this?" I asked. What was I talking about?

"Jack," He muttered, glaring at me, "It was you, you bastard!"

He charged at me, but to my disbelief, I watched as my best friend fell, dead, at my feet.

I heard someone faintly sobbing.

I looked around.

No one.

Who was it who was crying?

It was Oz the B-rabbit.

Oddly enough, I didn't care.

I slammed Alice's door open. I needed to find her.

I ignored her incoherent babble as she went on about being scared and afraid. I couldn't take it. I told her about how she'd made Oz with the power to send the world down for her mother-for Lacie. I had to do this, I had to.

"Is that what you had Oz do?" Alice asked, glaring at me. Such an icy, cold voice.

It caught me off-guard. I jumped back in shock.

"Alice," I breathed.

"What? You didn't expect me to be here, pretending to be her, did you?" She sneered, "She won't respond, so I want to know personally what you did to Oz."

Her violet eyes were glimmering with tears. Brave, strong, Alice was crying.

For some reason, I was concerned. "Alice?" I asked.

How could she act like this? I was doing what needed to be done.

"Can't you see him?"

See who?

"Can't you hear him?"

Hear who?

Alice was talking nonsense.

"Can't you see Oz screaming through his tears?"

Oh.

I looked behind me, to see the rabbit screaming, covering his face with his hands.

I could see him screaming, but I couldn't hear it. I could only hear vague whispers.

'Help me...I don't want to kill!'

She clearly heard every word of it.

"I don't give a damn about that!" I screamed, throwing her to the ground, "Switch places with the Intention! I can't have you interfering with my objectives! Hurry up, answer me, Alice!"

Good, the Intention was starting to take over.

I just had to deal with this Alice, and-a sudden burning sensation went through my arm. Alice had stabbed me. She'd stabbed me with a pair of scissors.

Her eyes burned like fire. "I'll never let you do this, Jack!"

Then she looked over. It was odd, it was as though she was addressing Oz.

She was muttering something, then.

"Wait, Alice!" I cried but she stabbed her throat and fell, dead, to the ground.

Lacie's daughters...her daughters, I'd failed them! I'd failed them!

"Alice, you're alive, thank god, Alice!" I cried, but she dove past me and into my chain.

"You see, Arthur, I'm disappearing. Will I eventually disappear altogether!"

"That's not true!" Oz screamed as he destroyed me.

These memories, they were utterly insane. They were filling my mind.

No, no, no! I shook my head desperately.

* * *

A golden light surrounded me.

"Core of the Abyss...?" I muttered, "I did a terrible thing..."

"No, child," It said, caressing me, "It is a mere vision you are seeing, of another life. Where your alternate did those things. You must be terribly disturbed by what you saw. But do not worry. As for the discomfort your soul must feel about your new sex, you will get used to it. I have given you this body for a reason." She whispered.

"I-"

"Let all of them live happy lives."

"I don't have that kind of power," I whispered.

"You have that ability now, you are Jack, Leila."

My eyes widened.

That had been my name.

"The girl who likes reading stories, and one world in particular appealed to your heart, which is our world. Our world, with our friends, appealed to your heart and soul. That's why I knew you would be perfect. I tested you with that child and you proved you have courage within you."

"Why would you take me away from my world? I was perfectly happy!" I screamed.

"You wanted to live, and I gave you that chance. Child..." Her hand caressed my cheek. "Awaken, these are mere dreams. Jack's memories are now yours. What you choose to do with this life, with this fate, is up to you. It is now your life."

"Core of the Abyss, I don't have what it takes!" I screamed.

"You can prevent tragedy. Everything you do will either determine tragedy, or avoid it. I know you can do it, Leila, or should I say, Jack? Lajack."

"Hey, it's not funny!"

The light faded.

"Jack.."

"Damn core...Damn god, gonna kick your ass!" I cried, trying to kick the Core, until my foot met flesh.

"Jackkkkkk. Jack!"

* * *

Suddenly, my green eyes flew open.

Oh yeah, I was still here, I thought, as I examined my blond hair; and there were a pair of red eyes in front of my face-wait, what?

"L-Lacie?" I muttered.

"Have an interesting dream?" She purred, her dark hair falling around us, and-I looked down.

Her breasts were in front of me.

I know I identified as a woman, but...

Then, it happened.

I felt blood rush to my head, and I looked down, and my face went red.

Why.

"Ooh, Jack, did you get excited?"

Lacie was doing this on purpose! I jumped backwards.

Then she bit my ear.

"Ow! What the hell, Lacie? Are you a vampire?" I cried.

"Nothing close to that, like what you see, don't you? You're such a cutie, Jack." She teased.

"I-I-I'm too young for this!" I cried.

"You've gotten one of those boy things, hm. Niisan gets them sometimes."

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" I yelped, taking the pillows and burying my face in them, my face burning badly. First day of being a dude and I already screw up!

"Jack, you act a lot like a girl. You're still a dude, even if you're feminine. Niisan likes wearing dresses sometimes."

Wait, what? I paused and looked up at her.

"Levi really scolded him, so now he saves it for other times."

Wow, I had no idea Oswald was _so flamboyant._

Interesting.

I made a mental note to use that for blackmail material.

She grabbed at my jaw.

"Lacie, stop! Let me go!" I yelped as she held my jaw open and then finally let me go. "You didn't have to put your breasts in front of my face!"

"What's wrong, Jack? You annoyed at having to sleep with a girl?"

I flushed again. "Not that, it's just that I'm a-"

"Of course you are, Jack. You'll learn."

Oh, screw these male hormones.

Somewhere, I screamed at the Core to stop screwing with me. And I almost thought I could hear her laughing her ass off.

"The one down there is laughing about something." Lacie muttered.

"The Core?" I said.

She came closer to me. "How do you know about the Core of the Abyss, Jack?"

"I have seen it before." I muttered.

"Hm, interesting. You have been in contact with her. She visited you in a dream, hm? What did she look like to you? A little light."

"A lonely person." I muttered.

Her eyes widened. "I see, maybe I'll take you to meet her sometime."

"Do we need tickets?" I asked.

"Why would we need tickets?" She said, her eyes filled with confusion.

"But not right this second. You're still a stranger. And, Jack, you need to take a bath because you stink." She threw me right off the bed and onto the ground.

"Your hair looks better this way," She said.

Wow, I had the same haircut as Oz-wait, as a plush rabbit would, in my body.

God, that sounded erotic. Whoa, stop it, male hormones!

Suddenly I wished I had a uterus again.

These hormones were too much.

"Jack, earth to Jack!" Lacie said.

"What?" I snapped. Suddenly, my voice was high.

"Is Jack going through puberty? Your voice was very falsetto," Levi said, popping up from out of nowhere, in a manner very reminiscent of Xerxes Break.

"Levi, stop it," Oswald said, "Puberty is hard, but you get used to it."

"Niisan, you fail at giving advice." Lacie said, and several of the Baskervilles behind Oswald snickered, "So what shall we call you, Jack? Jack Baskerville...?"

"No way." Oswald said, "He's not a member of this family."

"He is now," Lacie said.

"It sounds like something from those horror novels you read. You shouldn't read those, girls should not be reading-"

"Blah, blah, blah," Lacie said, causing Oswald's face to flush scarlet in anger.

"Personally, I believe Lacie can read whatever she wants. She reads some of my novels. How would you like to read my novels, Jack-kun?" Levi purred.

"You write?" I asked.

"That's right. Or have you been taught how to read?" He asked.

"A little bit." I muttered, hiding behind Lacie.

"I don't blame him, Levi, you are a scary guy. It's because you have no eyelids."

Levi frowned. "Ah, I'm a nice guy, though."

I didn't trust him for one second.

"It seems Jack here can talk to the Core."

"Oh, is that so? Interesting. In that case, we shouldn't let him go." Levi said. "And Lacie, you knocked your plush toy off the shelf."

"I didn't knock it over." Lacie said, looking over to where the plush rabbit had conveniently fallen off the shelf and its eyes were on me.

Why was Oz stalking me?

'Go away!' I screamed in my mind.

"I think it fell over by mistake." Lacie said, picking up Oz. As she did so, the rabbit shot me a death glare.

"Lacie's unusual like that. Do you know, Jack-kun, that the Abyss can make inanimate objects come to life, or make people age faster?" Levi asked.

"That's impossible," I said, biting my lip. I wasn't going to give Mr. Tall, White-haired and Creepy any easy answers.

"Weren't you told about such things growing up?" He queried.

"They told me it was a legend," I said softly.

In truth, my memory of the series felt vague and wispy, like a dream. Perhaps the Core herself was suppressing my memories?

I growled under my breath.

"If you're hungry, we can give you something to eat. You will eat the servants' portion." Levi said.

When I looked at him in annoyance, he jabbed my face. "I'm kidding, eat as much as you like. But if you die, it's not on me."

"I'll make sure to curse you from my grave," I muttered.

Levi looked at me and then he burst out laughing. "Would you look at that? Jack-kun has got a brain in there after all, it seems!"

We devoured our breakfast, and I drank some whiskey.

"Hi, Lacie," I giggled.

"What did you put in his drink?" Lacie asked.

"Not much," Levi said.

"Lacie," I muttered, "You feel funny..."

"Poor Jack, you shouldn't have drunk that ale." She said, patting my head.

"Wanna read some of these horror novels?" She said, throwing one at me. It was one about a group of kids in a secluded village who become paranoid and wind up hurting each other.

I was shaking by the time I'd finished.

"That one is good." She purred.

"You're evil, Lacie!" I purred.

"Say, Jack, I think you should come out right now and fess up about who you really are." She purred. "You're not just an ordinary boy, are you? You've been chosen by the Core to do something."

After that, I spilled everything to her. As much of it as she would believe.

"Aha, so you're from another dimension entirely, well that doesn't really matter to me." She said flippantly.

"But I-"

"Jack, you'll fit in just fine here now, right? Besides, I find it hilarious that you used to be female, because you are very feminine. Someone like me can accept impossible things. Someone like me is supposed to die."

"I won't let you die!" I snapped.

"Jack, I'm fated to die one day. We all are!"

I did not want Lacie to die. Maybe I could change Oswald's mind, make him see reason.

"That explains why the rabbit and the Core have been talking to you. You can't fool me." She purred.

"I see," I muttered.

"Why don't I take you to visit my friend?"

Many secret passages later, we were in a room full of golden lights.

"Be careful, Jack, don't let yourself get taken astray by them. Hello there, my friend."

The lights came closer to both of us.

"I see you brought Jack here to this world to fulfill your wish."

The Core was dancing excitedly. It was as though Lacie understood everything it was saying.

"I see, you can be _so_ twisted at times. But you know, you're not alone here as well."

I saw the black rabbit doll at our feet, again.

"So you see, rabbit, this boy is from another world."

A faint voice whispered in my ear, "Another world? What does that mean?"

Oz could talk. I knew that, but still it startled me.

"Say hello to the Core, Jack." She said, pushing me forward.

"H-Hello," I whispered.

The Core was touching me.

"The Core likes you, Jack!"

"LACIE!" A voice boomed from somewhere else.

"Shit, I guess we'd better go back," Lacie said.

"You didn't go back down there, did you?" Oswald boomed, glaring at both of us.

"It's fine, Nii-sama. He's not hurt." She sneered, pushing past him.

Somehow, I got the feeling they always acted like this.

"I'll make you wear a dress!" I cried.

Oswald froze in place. "How do you know that?"

"I told him, of course." Lacie purred.

Levi came downstairs, wearing a troll face. "Here's a portrait we made of Oswald wearing a dress!"

Oswald uttered some very nasty words and then skulked off.

"Nii-sama didn't come down to lunch. I think he's angry." Lacie remarked.

"I think he's angry, too," Levi said.

"You must try not to piss him off," One of the Baskerville said.

"But it's fun." Lacie said.

The Baskervilles must have been used to this kind of behavior.

"This Baskerville is Dug." She said.

"Hello, Jack." He said in a baritone voice, before turning back to his food. The others didn't exactly trust me well enough...

* * *

-Present day-

I was walking when two figures clung to my legs. I knew instantly who they were.

Gilbert and Vincent.

"Why are you carrying around a doll?" Gil asked.

"This is Alice's doll."

Vincent scowled.

"This is Oz." I said, "Would you like to meet him?"

"Oz? I feel like I know that name from somewhere." Gil said, looking at the rabbit doll. "Hi, Oz."

The rabbit looked at him with sparkling eyes.

I've started the Gilbert and Oz ship. How perverted am I?

"Tch, it's just a stupid doll," Vincent said, "Let's get going. Are you going to see that girl again, Master?"

Oz lowered his head at that notion.

"You mean Alice," I said, "And there are _two_ Alices, actually."

"What?" Vincent said.

"That's right. The one who throws insults at you is Alyss and the other one is Alice. Their mother is up there, too." I remarked.

"I've seen her before! Are you and her...um...?" Gil muttered, "Best friends?"

"Yes," I said.

"I think he goes further than that," Vincent remarked. "We're on our way to visit someone."

"Ah, may I go see her with you?" I said.

"I wanted to go by myself." Vincent sulked.

"Well, all right, then." I said, "Who is she?"

"Her name is Noise."

When I visited her, she seemed to have become charmed by me.

After that, she stalked me everywhere.

"I think you've got an admirer, Jack." Oswald said.

"Jack, what have you done?" Lottie growled.

"Jack only has eyes for me." Lacie purred.

"How do you put up with him?" Lottie said.

"Lottie, you have a lot-tie of time to make Oswald yours!" I purred.

The knife that was thrown at my head told me my answer right away.

"Jack, you _really_ must refrain from teasing her like that," Lacie remarked.

"It's fun," I said back to her.


	3. Chapter 3 Flap Jacked

**A/N: Yes, every chapter has a certain pun on Jack's name. I'm not even sure what Vessalius means. Does it actually mean anything or is it a placeholder name? Hm, I don't know. As for Jack getting a chain, it may or may not happen. Expect this to be more crack-and also full of some funny sight gags involving Jack. Jack can die in many ways, depending on how you feel he should die. Of course, if you like this Jack, then you don't know Jack! XD**

 **Chapter 3 Flap Jacked**

* * *

You might be wondering why there's an excessively weird name for this chapter, or the lack thereof, which might make you wonder why the hell Jack Vessalius would ever be flipping pancakes for people, because as far as we have seen, pancakes don't exist yet in the universe.

Shush, logical readers! It's meant to be fun, and questioning the order of things ruins it, because then she hears and she sends her chains after me. It's no fun being chased by chains. Did you ever have Raven come flying after you intent to drag you down to hell while Levi sits and laughs his ass off at the situation and only comes to help after you pay him fifty dollars and then get injured in the process?

Aw, crud, here we come to the part in this story that I hate most: how Levi's household works. Don't get me wrong, the guy does have two beautiful daughters (but he is so weird and wacky that his house deserves a spot alone in these journals of mine) but the guy could really, honestly, benefit from having some common courtesy.

This one time, I was taking a bath and he walks right in to where I am, and starts brushing his teeth while I'm...just...a teenager, trying to bathe and there he is, brushing his flipping teeth. He could at least wait until I'm done.

"Why are you hiding, Jack-kun?" He asked, not at all unfazed by the Jack death glares he was being sent by me.

"Get out! I need my privacy!"

"Privacy? What a ridiculous concept! I am the Lord of this house, therefore I alone have privacy. Are you making a bubble bath? Only I get to do that." Levi says.

"I didn't use the bubble bath shampoo," I confess.

"Then how come I see bubbles?" He asks, leering down at me.

"L-Lacie put the shampoo in." I say, shaking.

Levi skulks out. "Oh, Lacieeee, didn't I say the shampoo was for me only? Why did you use it on this insignificant little foundling?"

I glared as I continued my bath, plotting various ways I could get my revenge on Levi for humiliating me in that stupid way of his. How dare he still treat me like dirt!

I sighed and continued my musings, ranting to myself as I continued to pretend I was drowning Levi in various ways.

"This traitor shall sink beneath the sea until he never sees the light of dawn again!" I screamed, holding a toy boat and throwing it into the water.

"That's one of my toy boats!" Oswald whined before he immediately realized what was happening here. He snatched the toy from me and took off, his face beet-red.

"Is your brother unusual?" I asked Lacie as she brushed my hair and pulled out the old, dead knots.

"Yes, he is," She said.

"Is he into women?"

She paused. "I don't think so. I think he's into men."

My mouth flopped open at how openly she had said it in this era.

"B-But...isn't it-"

"Forbidden? Yeah, doesn't mean people still don't do it, Jack. People steal, engage in prostitution, lie, gamble, cheat and murder, and the law says you shouldn't do it. Humans are like that." Lacie said with a laugh.

"So, uh...Lacie..." I muttered, "What happened to your parents?"

"My parents?" She asked, thoughtfully. "I don't know. All I know is it was just me and Nii-san wandering on the streets, alone. Our parents probably deserted us because of our strangeness."

Now I could see the loneliness in Lacie's gaze. It was palpable and at the same time I was fascinated by her, by her sad and lonely nature, by her unique way of seeing the world, but at the same time, I felt like I didn't quite know her yet.

"So, Jack, wanna fly?" She said.

"Eh?" I asked her.

She opened the window to her tower.

"Jump down there. If you're able to do it without dying, I'll give you something nice." She said.

"You're kidding, right?" I said.

"Yes, I'm kidding!" She said, poking my forehead and laughing at my stunned expression. "You are such a killjoy sometimes, Jack!"

"Not really," I muttered, attempting to read one of Levi's horror novels and again being unsurprised when someone else died.

"Why are you reading those, Jack?" Lacie asked, punching me upside the head. "You know you'll be upset."

"I like horror stories!" I yelped, "IS that a bad thing, Lacie?"

"No, it's not, Jack," She said, giving me a noogie. "You're a very good person. But your heart is conflicted by something. Tell me what's wrong."

I let her hug me and spoke, quietly, "I dreamed...I killed everyone here. Your brother..."

Tears fell down my face.

Lacie looked at me in surprise before saying, "The Abyss...can show us futures that might be and pasts that have come and gone. But I don't think you are capable of that. Perhaps some other you did those things, but you, Jack, you're not capable of murder. You're too kind, gentle and innocent. And that is a good thing. It means you're an amazing person and you've grown by leaps and bounds since you got here."

She stroked my hair, wiping my tears away before she continued, "Even if you did something bad in another world, that doesn't make the you here guilty of it. It simply means you did something bad in another life. You're not a bad person, you're just human, Jack."

"Thank you..." I whimpered.

"You know, Jack, you're a most interesting boy. What was it like, being a girl?" She purred.

I flushed. "I'd rather not say..."

"I see." She pinched my cheeks. "You look cute when you smile. Try bonding with some chains or something."

"Chains?" I asked.

"They're monsters we contract with. Only we Baskervilles can form legal contracts but you yourself cannot contract with them as you are not an official Baskerville. Until Levi or Nii-sama allows it, you won't be allowed one. Mine is my little friend."

She pointed at the black rabbit doll.

I looked at Oz and then back at her with wide eyes.

"That tiny little thing?" I asked.

"Yes." She said. "He's watching us right now."

She picked up Oz and placed him in my arms. He immediately looked at me with panic on his face.

'What does it mean when there's rain coming out of his face, Lacie!?' He whimpered.

"Oh, Rabbit-san, it means he's crying. You're not capable of tears yet. But I think you've understood that before."

"Lacie, I never see you cry. Are you sure you're really a girl?"

Lacie threw a book at my face.

"You dolt. You know the answer to that question."

"I won't ask again!" I snapped, looking guilty.

* * *

Lacie poked me with a pencil.

"Jack, you fell asleep while writing." She said.

I twirled my ponytail. "I just dreamed of how we first met. It was nice and romantic."

"Back when you were an awkward dork."

"And back when you were a savage girl!"

She playfully flicked my forehead.


	4. Chapter 4 Jack in the Pulpit

**A/N: I need more Jack puns. And I've been seriously missing this crack and snarky muse of mine, so here I go again, making a lighter, cheerier PH for you all! I've missed this story and all of you fans, been busy updating magi fics. Now it's time for me to turn my dark eyes upon my crossover stories and my Harry Potter crossover fics, as well as my SI inserts. Currently, I have 18-20 stories active.**

 **So that's a lot of material to work with. So anyhow, here we go with a light-hearted chapter to tick everyone off with! When does the serious stuff start? Soon, my friends, soonnnn.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 Jack in the Pulpit, speaking of nothing but being a Jack-Ass**

There were a series of loud raps at the door.

Yes, I used that cliche phrase in this diary to describe my waking up. Deal with it.

I shot bolt upright in bed, staring, wide-eyed at the door, but Lacie still remained asleep. Or...was she pretending to be asleep?

"Lacie!" I hissed, "Get up, there's someone at the door!"

"Not going to." She said through gritted teeth, "It's probably Glen. Fake death to get away."

No use, he would still follow us and joke and talk while our ghosts suffered down in the Abyss.

"That doesn't work..." I mumbled, putting my head under my pillow.

Too late, the door banged open and Levi came prancing in like he owned the place.

Prick.

I was still too busy trying to get used to the past week's sex change on me: now I was a dude, now I was Jack, the one everyone hates, and now I'm here being with Lacie. What the hell. On top of that, I'm having so many dirty thoughts a second it's amazing I'm not dead from embarrassment yet.

The blinds were drawn back and suddenly, bright light illuminated the room.

Lacie dove back under her covers. "Bright light, my worst enemy, stop it, Glen!"

"Haha, sorry, Lacie, Jack-kun, it's time for you two to get up. Jack-kun, I regret to inform you, but your mother has been taken to a sanitarium. She'll be there until her mind recovers."

I blinked, processing that. Holy shit, did he just tell me mentally traumatizing news-oh wait, this is _that_ kind of universe. As happy as it is right now, there's still gonna be some fucked up shit going down.

"That's old news, what of it?" I said, sighing. I'd taken those words from some anime or another. Sitting up, I shot him a glare as I got up.

"Jack-kun, it's about time you contracted with a chain." He said, urging me to my feet.

I rolled my eyes at him. "What if I don't feel like it?"

"I guess I won't feel like helping you fit into this society, then, you can go right back out onto the streets."

Ouch, that was harsh.

"Still, isn't there a flower by the name of Jack?"

"Oh, a jack in the pulpit!" Lacie chirped, "It's a pretty flower. Seems to fit you perfectly, Jack!"

I flushed scarlet at this. "I'm not girly..."

"You're the most effeminate boy I've seen...outside of Oswald, of course."

At this, there was the sound of a chair scraping from the next room, and a furious Oswald came in. Teenage Oswald was in his male PMS stage, it seemed.

"Why are you guys making fun of me?" He whined. "It's not my fault the nobles are so confusing!"

"Yet you freeze up every time we go to a ball or social gathering. We're Baskervilles, not hermits who live far away in isolated caves and learn ancient techniques. It's about time you overcame that shyness of yours, Oswald." Levi said cheerfully.

As we walked down the hall, suddenly a hooded figure passed us.

It was Jury. She pointed her finger at us. "Child of Ill Omen! Cursed child! Why is there another cursed child here? This one is the harbinger of certain doom! He shall bring about the end of the world!"

"Him? Sorry, Jury, this little runt here couldn't hurt a fly. He has no muscle!" Levi said, ruffling my hair, much to my disgust. "And we're quite aware Lacie is a child of ill omen, thanks for the knowledge."

"When will you get rid of her? Send her down to where she belongs!" Jury hissed.

"Why don't you go down in the garbage, old hag?" Lacie sneered, "You're half-dead yourself."

"YOU LITTLE BRAT, RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!" Jury shrieked.

"Calm down, now, Jury, they're just children." Levi said, "I'm sure Lacie respects you and understands her destiny."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," Lacie snapped as she walked away from us and toward the main room for breakfast.

Once again, I was served the smallest portions of food, probably because I was on the lower rung of society-even though I'd been adopted, I needed to work my way back up, this time without using poor Arthur. That gave me an idea. Maybe I could befriend him now.

But how the hell could I find him?

* * *

Lacie kept feeding me more pieces of food, though, convinced I was underweight and needed to gain more muscle.

"Eat up, Jack!"

"Lacie, I see you giving him food." Oswald snarled. "Eat all your food."

"I'm sixteen, niisan. Stop treating me like a little kid."

"Quit acting like one, then, and eat your food." Oswald scolded.

"Could you lighten up a little, Mr. Grumpy? I'm trying to eat here." Levi said, sighing melodramatically.

Oswald stormed away again, very annoyed.

"Teenagers. He'll get over it eventually." He said, dismissing it with a wave of his hand. "So, Jack-kun, do you know the four noble houses?"

"Um...Vessalius-"

"Right, the one you're the bastard son in."

"Baskerville-"

"Yes. The others are Barma and Nightray. Be careful not to make enemies of any of them. They are important allies." Levi said, "Oh, and if you do make a contract with a chain, you might be in mortal peril, so give it some thought before you do contract."

I glanced over at where Oz was, perched on the windowsill, looking like a lifeless plush like always, before glancing back over at Lacie, who was currently throwing her mashed potatoes at Oswald, who did not appreciate the gift.

"Jack-kun, are you any good at gardening?" Levi asked.

I jumped. "Uh...maybe a little bit?"

"Great! You can get down on your hands and knees and do some weeding out there like a good servant!"

"He's not a servant!" Lacie snapped.

"He is if I say he is! Have fun!" He said, trolling us like always.

Lacie eventually joined me out there, helping me pull out weed after weed. I was covered in dirt and sweat to the point where I nearly passed out the second I got back in the tower.

"That was fun, hm?" Lacie purred, getting in bed near me. She was _way too close_.

I could see her...goddammit, would she stop doing this to me?

I knew I'd fall for her. I'd tried so hard to avoid falling for her, but I was going to, anyway.

Shit.

"Jack, you really are the girliest boy I've ever met." She bit my ear again.

Could she not be so weird?

I turned over in bed, flushing before pretending to be asleep.

"You can fake it all you like, but I know you're still awake, Jack." She purred.

Damn her. She was such a vixen.

Terrifying. But that was part of the reason she was called a Baskerville, after all.

* * *

My eyes came back to rest on the rabbit plush, who had been brought back up here. _The rabbit was glaring at me._ Why was he glaring at me? Did he subconsciously realize I was the person who fucked up the people dearest to him and got him stuck in an undying body and stuck with the worst dad on Earth?

"The rabbit is _staring._ " I said.

"Nonsense. It's an illusion." Lacie said.

Then the rabbit blinked in her direction and she sighed.

"Yep, it does this sometimes. Just ignore it." She said, rolling over.

I could still see those beady red eyes glinting at me in the darkness. So I wandered over to it, and touched its black ears. The rabbit's eyes bugged out and it made a comical face, but it could not move.

"Jack, one, rabbit zero. **Your move**." I said cheerfully.

Oz backed up, staring at me. The rabbit blinked again before looking down, too terrified to do anything more.

"I'm kidding, you're too cute for me to harass." I said, leaving the stuffed rabbit/future chain/ **future mass killer** totally at a loss for words. The rabbit was blushing.

That's when I knew Oz was gay.

Oz was totally gay.

 _No wonder_ he wanted Jack's body.

I flushed before flopping back into bed.

How could I have thought that, of all things? That was silly.

* * *

The black rabbit was sweating profusely.

How had that boy been able to tell it was sentient?

How? Why did he touch its ears?

It swore to never come near the boy. At least, not for now.

He didn't trust the boy.

Although he was sort of cute...for a human.

"It's all right, you're gay." The Core of the Abyss said.

The rabbit blinked. "What does gay mean?"

"You'll find out when you're older." She said.

The rabbit frowned, or screwed up its plush face to make the equivalent.

The Core just laughed and bounced around him like the troll that she was.


End file.
